Time Not Wasted

Don’t Swim Alone - Time Not Wasted

When was the last time you allowed yourself to be bored? It may sound like a strange question, but an important one. We live in a society where we have been told that every moment of the day must be filled to the brim with some type of activity, and this usually takes two forms. The first is the constant push to work harder and longer hours. The second is the trap we may find ourselves in after our mind has turned to mush and we scroll endlessly through news feeds and social media. Neither is healthy, and both are symptoms of the same disease, a fear of boredom. 

As a member of Generation X, I can recall a time before there was a constant flood of information rushing over my senses every moment of the day. Yes, there was television, and yes, I watched a lot of it. But there was also the push from my parents to go out and play, to turn off the television and find some friends to get into some socially approved trouble. This is when I would ride my bike to the local park and play basketball for hours or hang out with friends. As a young boy, I needed this kind of fellowship, and I lament that my children haven’t always had the same opportunity. 

But then there were times I was just bored. It felt there was nothing to do and no one with whom to share it. But these were the moments when my imagination took over. Toys took on a life of their own as I reenacted adventures I had written only in my mind, and pencil and paper were used to conjure inventions that would bring mankind time travel or at least the possibility of a machine that promised infinite milkshakes. Boredom can be just as crucial to the development of our brains as learning and play. Boredom allows us just to be and to discover that inner voice in our minds and hearts that is from God. 

"Boredom allows us just to be and to discover that inner voice in our minds and hearts that is from God."

And as we grow older we also discover that it is in the silence that we discover God. Jesus himself often went off to pray alone away from the disciples. Considering the stresses he endured from the people who challenged him, the suffering he witnessed firsthand, and the frustration of disciples who often didn’t understand his teaching, I don’t blame him. But Jesus didn’t just pray to God, he had time with God that was a reflection of their intimate relationship. 

It has been drilled into the psyche of many a presbyter that “an idle priest is a lazy priest”. In other words, “look busy, Jesus is coming!”. Let me be clear that as priests we should be about the work of the kingdom. We should be taking time to pray alone and with others, to teach, preach, visit the sick, answer correspondence, prepare liturgies, and so on. But that doesn’t mean that we don’t need some time to be idle with God. It’s in those idle times with God that we can finally let down our hair, or remove our collars, and just be. 

I confess that this is a constant challenge for me. Having been in a new parish just under a year, I find myself enthralled with all the possibilities that lie before us as a congregation.

The soil for spiritual growth is fertile. The potential for reaching souls for Christ, serving the poor, and building community feels endless. And the surge in activity in our parish is a reflection of that. More people are volunteering than before and those who have been volunteering feel a greater demand on their time and energy. I love the work that I do, but I also need to model what a healthy balance between work, leisure, and idleness looks like. 

It’s here that we come back to the question at hand: do we allow ourselves to be bored, to be idle? Or do we feel that it is just wasted time? As much as I struggle with that question I know the answer is that God isn’t just seeking my work time, or my leisure time, or even my idle time. God is seeking all my time.

"As much as I struggle with that question I know the answer is that God isn’t just seeking my work time, or my leisure time, or even my idle time. God is seeking all my time."

But God isn’t doing it as someone selfish and possessive. Rather, God wants to sanctify our time, to bless it and make it holy so that however we spend our time it is time well spent. It’s why I am making an effort to not just make time for God but to make time with God, because time with God is never wasted. 

As we near the end of the Lenten season, I encourage us to find time to be idle enough that we enter into that space of time with God where we can hear God’s voice, let our imaginations run wild with the possibilities of how time with God can transform our lives, and just breathe. Oh yeah, don’t forget to breathe!

A humorous model for my idle time has been my dog Ruby. She is a rescue and is about 12 years old. She spends a great deal of time holding down the sofa so it doesn’t float away. One of the reasons I love this dog is that shortly after we adopted her, I contracted COVID-19. It was the Delta variant and it leveled me for at least three weeks. This dog that I barely knew wouldn’t leave my side. She lay in the bed with me every day for hours on end. She was a great listener. I like to think that she didn’t feel she was wasting her time with me there, that it was just time spent with me for the sake of being with me. 

When I am exhausted and stressed, when I am overwhelmed with the world I look at that dog sleeping next to me and I pray that I could be that comfortable and relaxed in the presence of my creator. I found that burnout was creeping up on me when I stopped giving God the unstructured free time that God needed to help me find rest for my weary soul. 

When burnout starts to creep in and the burdens feel heavier than they ever have before, remember to seek rest from our creator. The good news is that God is waiting for us in the same place he met Jesus during those moments of quiet. No words are needed, just the silence that comes from relaxing alongside someone who has no other agenda than to love you and be with you.